I know with Mothers' Day coming up often when dealing with fertility issues, it can get quite stressful.  My fertility patients over the last decade have always discuss how difficult and painful Mothers Day can be for them.


But this Mothers' Day I am hoping that you can shift your focus a bit and as a result take some of the stress off as you move up to and through the weekend.


This holiday can remind you of what you want but don't have YET.  But it can also be a reminder to focus on what the day is really celebrating.


Here are two things I suggest you consider this weekend coming up.


1)  This day, if you don't have children yet, can be a focus on your mom/mum.  Taking time out to appreciate what she has done and that she gave you life.  Here is a picture I found on facebook that I thought was worth sharing.  

Appreciate, respect and honor your mom/mum on Mothers' Day.  This will hopefully help you shift your focus from what you believe you lack to what you have right now.  And even if you aren't close to your mom/mum or even aren't talking, at least attempt to appreciate that she created you for this journey we call life.  

2)  If you are not a "mother" yet, I would encourage you to think a bit outside the box this upcoming weekend.  What do I mean by that?  Well, what is a mother really?  Webster says along with the traditional definition is that a mother is "a creator".  So when/if your heart and mind are focusing what you think you lack, I would encourage you instead to focus on all the ways in your life you have been a creator.  How you have created your relationship, your job/career or current situation, all the things you have created in your life and have helped you become the wonderful person that you are.  Celebrate what you have created in your life.  And if you believe that what you put out in the world returns to you, perhaps this shift in focus just might help you create more of what you want in your life now and in the future.

Over the years patients have also shared a few tidbits about how they have spent these holidays to help the deal with the pain of maybe their mum/mom having passed away or to help them shift their focus.  One that comes up over and over again is instead of only keeping the focus on Mum/mom on Mothers' Day and Dad on Fathers Day, celebrate your relationship with each other on these days.  Spend some quality time together.  Talk to each other about what you appreciate about each other and make it a special day for your relationship.  Because when you think about it, its your union that will help you create the life that you long for, so take some time to celebrate it and appreciate each other.

Also keep in mind that if you do feel sad or down or even angry on Mothers Day due to your current situation, that is normal to have those feelings and the thoughts that go with them.  But once you are cognisant of those thoughts and feelings, shift your focus to help let it go as holding on those thoughts that don't support you isn't going to help you optimise your fertility.  And if you are too low or feeling too defeated to do this, then reach out for help to your spouse, a counsellor, your Church or your support system to help you shift your focus.  

Have a good weekend celebrating your life and all you have in it right now!